


excess energy

by Mongo00



Series: holding on (to life) [25]
Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Anxiety, Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, POV First Person, POV Josh Dun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-20
Updated: 2018-07-20
Packaged: 2019-06-13 08:47:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15360705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mongo00/pseuds/Mongo00
Summary: I have a constant supply of excess energy due to my anxiety and I have to rid it somehow. If it’s not shaking my legs, fidgeting, or pacing, it’s screaming, crying, or harming.





	excess energy

Stop shaking your legs they say; stop fidgeting they say; stop pacing they say. I would stop if I could. I have a constant supply of excess energy due to my anxiety and I have to rid it somehow. If it’s not shaking my legs, fidgeting, or pacing, it’s screaming, crying, or harming. They don’t know that and I can’t talk back. I have to sit there and take the comments on my “impoliteness” when I can’t change it. I can’t defend myself and I can’t have attitude. I have to fucking sit there and take the damn insult on a behavior I can’t stop; I have to sit there and look at their condescending stares. The look of disappointment somewhat displays on their faces and I sink down deeper into my seat. I already feel like a piece of shit failure and the stares only add fuel to that fire. The more times they comment, the more I have to contain my anger; the more times they comment, the more frustrated they get because I don’t stop; the more times they comment, the deeper my depression goes. They wonder why I’m insecure and suicidal; they wonder why I have no confidence or self esteem; they wonder why I’m suicidal.


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